One of the Greatest Graduation Speeches!

“Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ‘97:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you’re 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.”

This was a piece written by Mary Schmich in the Chicago Tribune on June 1, 1997 titled “Advice, Like Youth, Probably Just Wasted On the Young”. Australian film director Baz Luhrmann (“Romeo and Juliet” & “Strictly Ballroom” ) bought the rights for the lyrics from the Chicago Tribune and turned it into a song.

Drunken Wisdom: The Buffalo Theory

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the entire group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members, in much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of alcohol eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that is why you always feel smarter after a few drinks.

Death and All My Friends

An article I came across on the internet said about the D-word “Death and all things relating to it evoke a unique, primal reaction from all people…” It makes me wonder whether death is really all that it is made to be. At one point of time I was really interested in NDEs or Near Death Experiences. But all of the accounts were so stupid – “voids filled with colours”; pathetic that people will do anything for their fifteen minutes.

When my grandmother passed away, I was too small to register the pain it brought. But I still saw my mother crying and that registered.

Only last year when my grandfather expired did I realise what it means to have a close one going away so far away that you will never his voice again, even to shout at you, to ask you to bring water for him, to request that you teach him how to use his iPod. I was sad that day. But what made it worse was that my parents thought that I was too weak to handle it while I was travelling. When I saw my grandmother, exactly two tears fell down my eyes. Then I smiled at her, and she smiled back. And I wished, in all probability in vain, that she did not hurt as much as I did.

Then I thought about the words associated with death. And then my thoughts meandered on to such a lot of deaths in the recent times that I decided to make a list.

1. Death of a legend. MJ. For four decades he reigned supreme on the billboards and the people’s hearts. Changing noses, and skins, he battled accusations of child molestation, but still remained right at the top. He was wrongly named the King of Pop. He was the God of Pop.
2. Death of an icon. Savita Bhabhi. The quintessential perverted Indian’s thoughts brought on “paper” for the first time. The story lines were lame. The drawings were decent. And the protagonist legendary. She was a statement against the perverted chauvinistic lecherous sexually repressed Indian male, as the bold one, the initiator. I shall say no more.
3. Death of a belief. The System. I always believed in the System, the system of government, of religion, of society. But perhaps I am rather frustrated, as I have stopped believing in anything. Red tapism (math incident), corruption, bribery, Babri Masjid, Jehad, hypocrisy; need I say more? The only things which still give me hope are India and love.

And still on I thought about UD, and how close he had come to death. I miss talking to him about the randomest of things. I wish from the bottom of my heart he gets well soon. Once I heard this poem which I would sing for him –

“Star light, star bright,

The first star I see tonight,

I wish I may, I wish I might,

I wish my wish comes true tonight.”

Summers in Roorkee

The Good.

I am quite alone in the campus, which means I get blazing fast downloads, especially at night, when all the matkas are sleeping (more about them later). I also got Sirsa’s speakers, which means I can create all the noise I can using HUGE speakers, and I don’t have Pimple King as my neighbor to complain!

The Bad.

I am quite alone in the campus, which means I don’t have anyone to talk to. I end up getting quite bored, especially in the evening, when I want to go to CL but I have nobody to accompany me; when I want to go swimming, but there’s nobody to accompany me again; and when I want to just lie around for some useless bakar, there’s nobody to accompany me.

I am so bored, I end up on Facebook day in and day out – I have no place else for human contact, after all I have limited balance!

The Ugly.

I am quite alone in the campus, which means I am bored out of my mind. As my GMAT date gets closer, instead of increasing, my IQ is actually decreasing!  I hope I snap out of it real quick!

Musings on lonely evenings, based on observations around the empty, but beautiful campus.

I have often said the best part about the IIT system is the JEE – it filters out most of average crowd, sometimes keeping out even some brilliant people, who I miss sometimes. Why I am saying it here, is because either JAM or GATE interviews are going on in the campus, and I can see outstandingly stupid people around here. One guy was trying to talk in some form of English, but only ended up wetting his pants in nervousness!

My ‘unequal and discriminatory’ idea was just enforced on interacting with some more who are staying near me – weird most of them. That’s not say that all matkas are stupid, there are some brilliant matkas too – there was my neighbor last year who actually introduced me to the X-Men animated series! There is Tikun Bhaiya too, who is doing his M. Tech from IIT-D. And let’s not forget the all famous Narayana Murthy.

I also found yet another proof of the Richa Gupta effect, this girl from afar looked all pink in the sun, and I thought “wow! White and sensitive!!” But on closer observation, the pinkness turned out to be due to the volcanic eruptions of pimples due to the heat of the sun!